A Different Shade of Conversation and Teeth.

There’s always that one person. You know. That annoying person you meet in a Starbucks who stubbornly refuses to leave you alone. I, unfortunately, meet a lot of these people. Just the other day a large woman with a strong Southern accent broke my concentration when she said something to me. But because I was completely engrossed in the album I was downloading while also listening to some music through my earphones, I couldn’t really understand what she was saying to me…and I was really perfectly content with that. But like every annoying person in a coffee shop, she insisted on continuing to try and say something. Now it was really just a battle of wills. Who could hold out the longest? I avoided eye contact and tried to appear busier than I really was while the cursed Southern Starbucks woman said something for a third time (May the gods strike her down!). Couldn’t she see that I was perfectly content with listening to my music while sipping hip overpriced lattes that take way too many words to order? I then conceded defeat and removed my earphones and said, “Sorry. I didn’t hear you.” In her thick accent she slowly exclaimed, “OOOOOOWEEEEE! That’s a mighty fine laptop you have there.” I responded with a “Thanks. I guess it gets the job done.” Eager to return to my own private music filled world, I began to place my earphones back in my ear. But this woman would have none of that. Now that she had my attention, she was going to punish me and keep me in conversation captivity. “What kind is that, “ questioned the increasingly annoying woman. “A Mac I replied.” “Never heard of it,” she responded. At this point something was becoming glaringly obvious to me. This woman had pink teeth. Now that’s just disgusting. Not only will this woman attempt to drive me to suicide through a long drawn out conversation but she was also going to force me to stare at her pink infected teeth in the process. The gnarly-toothed Southern woman then proceeded to tell me about her best friend’s two-year-old kid who slowly dismantled her friend’s computer until it was unusable which of course led this woman to tell me another ten or twenty stories about her four-year-old, which of course led her to ask me if I wanted to see pictures of her daughter. Yeah! Like I could really just say no I don’t want to see your offspring. “Of course,” I said. She then got up, picked up her phone, and moved to the outlet to charge it. She then bent over revealing a giant hole in her dirty stained sweatpants. Her butt was directly in my face and this single act secured her fate as the most annoying person I have ever encountered. After talk of her daughter, her mom not paying her cell phone bill (pathetic. She had to have been in her late 20’s), and her life story in general, she finally received a call from some angel who had no idea the relief they were bringing to my poor ears. Once her train of thought was broken, I took my chance and cast off the chains and shackles of her repressive conversation by quickly putting my earphones back in and looking as busy as a college kid can possible look. Seeing that I was obviously busy, she finally left Starbucks and hopefully my life forever.

Once she was gone, something struck me. In what way did I exhibit Christ’s love to this woman? Deep down, when we encounter those annoying people with ugly teeth and ripped sweatpants, we want to believe that we are better than that and our time too valuable to waste on conversation with them. Sure, I was friendly enough and suffered through her endless droning. But if we’re honest with ourselves, that’s not really enough. Throughout the Bible, it seems as if God is much more concerned with our attitudes instead of our outward appearances. It’s not enough to just spew out empty words to this woman, all with the hope that if I keep my responses brief enough she’ll leave me alone. This woman was obviously starving for someone to just talk with her and, as Christians, it is our duty no matter what shade someone’s teeth are to display God’s mercy and lovingly talk. In Matthew 5:7 Jesus tells us, “Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy.” This mercy extends deeper than just a visible action. To Matthew and Jewish tradition, mercy was also seen as a personal feeling that one had. It was not enough to only act like you loved the person. You had to actually love the person. This is an important distinction that we seldom focus on. It’s much easier to just appear merciful than to actually be merciful. So the next time I see a large, annoying, pink-toothed, butt bearing Southern lady, I should try to be interested in her life and problems rather than just appear to be interested… kind of like how Jesus was concerned with my life despite my many flaws.

News article title of the day: “Woman Spent Week Stuck Between Toilet, Door”

In a blow to evolution theorists everywhere, a woman apparently managed to become wedged and trapped between a toilet and her bathroom door. Now I’m not exactly sure how I’d respond to such a scenario, but I’m fairly certain I would have succeeded in finding an escape route. Perhaps the best part of the article is the friendly neighbor’s advice on how neighbors should look after each other. He is quoted as saying, "Just make a note of their movements and whatnot…” This may not have been the best wording for an article about being stuck in the bathroom....

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,535048,00.html?test=latestnews

Risky Business

Everyone likes a good story. When you get a good one, one of those that you just can’t seem to put down, everything around you seems to fade into the background. You become completely and totally engrossed in what you’re doing and nothing else matters. Why is this? Every good story contains a few necessary details. Obviously stories need a main character. Stories without those along with stories about sparkling vampires tend to annoy me. Every literature class will also tell you that the main character also needs to undergo some sort of struggle. And this is the crux of story. Struggle. Struggles happen when risks are taken and risks are taken when there is something greater than the main character to hope for. As I sit in this car dealership waiting for a certain German car manufacturer to ruthlessly bleed me dry for car repairs, I can see a few sad stories. There’s a man adding another appointment to his already busy schedule on his Blackberry. There’s another man reading magazine after cheap gossip filled magazine, no doubt laughing about the sad love life of some famous movie star. Then there’s a woman who is desperately moving chairs in her quest for a power outlet because an hour without a laptop is of course too unbearable of a catastrophe to even imagine. Don’t get me wrong, there’s not a single thing wrong with business appointments, magazines, and elusive power outlets. The problem is when this becomes the focus of our own story. When the monotony of a daily life becomes all there is to life or when we are completely content with a routine that never pushes us mentally or spiritually, our story turns to tragedy and we become nothing more than people fulfilled with yesterdays. When this happens we are most likely not taking risks.
In the Bible we can read of the popular risk-taking story of how Peter tried to walk on water with Jesus (Matthew 14:28-32). People tend to focus on Peter’s failure to muster enough faith to walk around and maybe do a dance number or two on the water. But I think we could also look at Peter’s amazing risk. In verse 24 the author tells us that the wind and waves were beating the boat. I doubt that climbing out of a violently rocking boat in the middle of a storm in an attempt to walk around on the waves was the first or seemingly most reasonable idea that popped into Peter’s head. But he had something better in sight. Jesus, Peter’s mentor and friend stood calmly on the churning waves and beckoned to him. Even though Peter didn’t walk around for a prolonged period of time, he still walked on water. One man went out of the boat while eleven stayed behind. For the Jews this whole situation would have been highly symbolic of the Exodus. There was a Jewish tale that said when Moses parted the waters of the Red Sea so the Israelites could escape the Egyptians, some of the first Jews to cross began to sink in the water. Moses then came to these drowning Israelites and saved them by pulling them out of the sea with his staff.
In each instance, when God’s people take risks and sink, God insures that they are pulled back up. So I guess my point is take risks. Not the stupid ones we recklessly try to pull off to make ourselves seem cool but instead the risks that have a good and clear focus. Maybe we’ll sink, but then again maybe we’ll walk on water. Don’t sit in German car dealerships making plans and forgetting to live the story known as our lives. One of the great Johns of history (not an apostle…a Beatle) once said, “Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.” Live that life for something greater and enjoy the risks that make our story exciting.